Kids say the darndest things...

As a teacher, you here some absolutely outrageous things in a classroom. Especially in a social studies classroom where there is discussion and the possibility that students will confuse people, places, and events. Sometimes it's like a bit Jay Leno does on the Tonight Show called "Jay-Walking."

Last year I had a class that said some mind-blowing shit. I after a month or so, I started to write down some of this stuff. I decided I would blog these questions, observations, and absurd statements by students. I never got around to it. This past year, I heard more ridiculous shit and continued to write it all down. I am finally going to share it with the rest of the world. I cannot remember the context in which some of the comments were made by the students, so I can't post them. Here is a Top Fifteen List of Outrageous Student Comments:

15. Back when Castro gave up his power and left his brother in charge, I brought up the topic in class. Somehow the fact that there are no flights from the U.S. to Cuba came up. I mentioned that if you want to visit Cuba, you probably should go to Toronto, then from Toronto to Cuba. A student interjected, "I thought you had to go through Korea."

14. I showed a You Tube clip from the BBC that re-enacted/simulated the atomic bomb dropping of Hiroshima. Through computer animation it shows the bomb being dropped from the point of view of "Little Boy" and the reaction going on inside the bomb. Open seeing the clip and student asked me, "Who was inside steering the bomb? Didn't they know they were going to die?"

13. During a lesson on Marco Polo and Kublai Khan, I went off on one of my rants as to why "Marco...Polo" is the second stupidest game ever after Seven Up. One of my students then made this comment: "It's not stupid! It makes perfect sense. Pools were invented by Marco Polo, so why not play a game using his name?"

12. Somehow in class the topic of giving birth came up. One student alluded to a birthing video they watch in health class. A student posed a question to me, which I can't remember, but the student started off the question by stating, "When the woman poops out the baby..."

11. Sometimes students' prejudices and even racism come out in their comments. Here is a two for one...At the start of almost every unit I do an activity called KWL. Students make a web of terms they know about a topic, what they associate with a topic, and what they would like to learn in the upcoming unit. During our unit on Africa two answers I got were Jimi Hendrix and Bob Marley. Apparently all things black come from Africa. The other example deals with China. Part of the New York State curriculum is to stress how Chinese culture impacted the development of other East Asian cultures. So during a review lesson on our unit, I asked the class, "What are some examples of cultural diffusion that took place between the Chinese and Japanese? What cultural aspects did the Japanese adapt from the Chinese?" I called on a student who said, "Their eyes."

10. We were discussing weather and the amount of rain some region gets (I can't remember) and a students makes this observation/question: "Isn't it sunny all the time, even when the sun is out?"

9. Students were comparing the way of life during the Middle Ages and Renaissance. They analyzed the differences in architecture. During that comparison I showed a picture of Notre Dame in Paris. A student comments, "Oh, that's where Quasimodo lives." I said, "Yes, in Victor Hugo's book he did ring the bells and fell in love with Esmeralda. But you probably saw the Disney film and haven't read the book." The student responded, "Yeah, I saw the Disney cartoon. But he's still rings the bell there. I want to go there someday." I then informed the student, much to her shock, "You know, Quasimodo isn't real. He's a literary character." The disappointed student asked, "Wait...he isn't real?"

8. A student was sharpening his pencil in the electric sharpener. He complained, "This thing doesn't work." I innocently said, "You're not putting it in hard enough." To which another student sharply responded, "That's what she said!"

7. Going back to the atomic bomb...I had shown the students an amazing documentary by HBO called "White Light/Black Rain: The Destruction." It contained a series of interviews with survivors. They shared their stories, showed their scars, etc. After viewing the documentary, we had a discussion, during which a student asked me, "Did people survive the bombing?"

6. A student wanted to go to the bathroom, but asked permission this way: "May I use the utilities?"

5. I asked some review question to the class. I called on a student and the first student answered incorrectly. So I called on another student who happened to answer correctly. The first student then comments, "That's what I said! But not today."

4. Out of nowhere a student raises her hand in the middle of my lecture. "Is Canada a state?" I raise my eyebrow like the Rock and retort, "Uh, no." The student persists, "But on the I/O commercial it says one flat rate to Canada and Puerto Rico."

3. Upon presenting a PowerPoint on the modern Middle East to students that contained a picture of Clinton with Arafat and Rabin, a student asks for reassurance, "He was assassinated, right?" Now I assume he's referring to Rabin and was impressed. I tell the student, "Yes, that's right Rabin was assassinated." He interrupts, "No, not him. Clinton. He was assassinated."

2. During a lesson on the medieval Europe, I was discussing the role of the Church and monks. A student had a question about monks. "Monks are psychic, aren't they?" I responded with look on my face that that indicated, "what the fuck?" I said, "No, they aren't psychic. Why?" The student in all earnest asked, "So, they aren't like that detective on TV?"

1. During a lesson on the Han Dynasty and their achievements and legacy, I showed how paper is made and credited the Han Dynasty with inventing the modern way of making paper. A student attempted to correct me. "Wait, didn't trees invent paper?"